My first child is now 4 years old. 4! And I’m currently expecting child #2. I will admit, the reality of having a second child brings up anxiety and has led to deep reflection of motherhood and my personal journey with my First Child. When I look around and hear from others expecting a second child, I’m not for certain if others experience these deep reflective moments as often as I do. Maybe? However, I do know I’m analytical and I find solace in deep, internal reflection and the insights gained through these experiences. So I share my thoughts with you about The First Child with the hope it helps someone else in their journey of motherhood and personal growth.
I have realized that The First Child has a special role unlike subsequent children. Why? Because I believe they are designed to bring out parts of our character we wouldn’t otherwise realize. The First Child is also a conduit to continued personal growth and redefining our purpose in life. The First Child is purposed to display our strengths…and far too often…our areas of growth. (Notice I do not use the word weaknesses. I believe areas where we are inept are simply opportunities to grow and be better, if we are willing) In layman’s terms, The First Child carries most of our emotional baggage!
What I’ve also learned is that The First Child is as much of the teacher as we are. And for that, I am forever grateful for the gift I’ve been given. Someone I respect reminded me just this morning how blessed I am and my children are for having me. What that says to me also is that I’ve done enough things right with The First Child I have been given the opportunity to do it again…better. I think my anxiety in having a second child is a healthy level of anxiety because it keeps me humble and keenly aware of not just being a mother and taking care of children, but the experience of motherhood and how it wholeheartedly takes care of me. Motherhood nurtures me, inspires me, and develops me. Motherhood allows me to be me…safely, without judgment. Motherhood connects me spiritually. Motherhood brings out the best in me.
No matter how motherhood comes, whether biologically, through foster care or adoption, guardianship, spiritually or the like…take some time to reflect and appreciate The First Child that was purposed to bring you to this identity of being a “mother”. The First Child shows you your worth and your value as a person. Go hug and embrace your first child and thank them sincerely for their role in your life…just not in front of your other children 😜.