Discover Prompt Day 21

Instrumental Moments…A Time of Reflection and Appreciation

This post is for someone somewhere! Someone needs to stop and take some time to reflect on those instrumental moments in life that have made you who you are at this very moment. Maybe you are so focused on your present you have not taken the time to reflect on where you’ve come from and where you are going. Maybe your current circumstances feel hopeless and stagnate. Maybe you are not sure what to do, how to think, how to act next because it seems as if every action leads to detrimental outcomes.

If this is you…I want you to get in a quiet, still place and just allow your mind to reflect on those instrumental moments in your life that motivated you, strengthened you, encouraged you, or maybe pushed you into your destiny. If you have any age on you, there are so many moments you can reflect on. But, when you lead this reflection time with your heart and not your head…your spirit will guide you to the exact moments God showed up BIG in your life. Your body will remember the shift in your life caused by these moments. You will know exactly which moments were instrumental on your life journey.

I will take the journey with you. I will share some of my instrumental moments as a model for your work. Here we go…

Instrumental Moment #1: Affirming Me and What I Could Be

I attended an elementary school in a rural area and experienced racism in the manner of verbal bullying at a very early age, triggered by my intelligence. I was too smart to be so black. This was the moment I could have told myself I am not good enough, not pretty enough, not smart enough to really be anything. With the confident support of a God-fearing mother and my second grade teacher who believed in my abilities and affirmed who I was daily, I know I would not be where I am today personally or professionally.

Instrumental Moment #2: Developing Self-Worth and Self-Confidence

I was a thumb sucker, which caused bucked teeth. I also have an astigmatism and needed glasses at the age of 4, maybe earlier. Well you know…back then, cute glasses for kids did not exist. So, here I was with bucked teeth and Coke bottle glasses during the prime years of social development…middle school. I had just moved to a new area where my mother and I knew absolutely no one else in the entire county. We had a raggedy station wagon with a shattered windshield as I entered the first day of middle school in my new city. At some point in 6th grade, I got braces. I don’t remember having really deep identity issues based on my appearance. However, I do absolutely remember the day I had a HUGE boost in confidence when my braces were removed after almost 3 years, and getting my first pair of contacts just as middle school ended. I do remember how it felt to walk down the hall with straight teeth and no Coke bottles glasses in my way. I actually had people that were so used to seeing me in my Coke bottle glasses, they were adversed when I started wearing contacts. Really? This is when I really begin to pay attention to my sense of self-worth and self-confidence regardless of what others thought. I liked who I was becoming and that was all that mattered.

Instrumental Moment #3: Being OK with loss

I have always experienced a lot of fear and anxiety with just the mere thought of death. Growing up in a single parent, mother-headed household, I remember constantly crying to my mother and telling her “I don’t want you to die!” Losing people you care about was the the biggest fear for me. It would cause me to to react physically and emotionally to just the thought of death. Then…I experienced loss. My most instrumental experiences of loss actually started in college. I loss a group of friends that were instrumental to me, in a way that was unexpected. I think that is what made the loss so much deeper…I couldn’t understand what exactly I did wrong and why this was happening. I have always at least tried to be a good friend and still feel confident in my relational skills, however, I definitely now understand loss has no respect of person. It took years for me to accept the fact that I loss what I thought were going to be lifetime friends, mainly because I kept begging God to replace what I loss and he didn’t…at least not in a way I could initially understand. I am now developing a greater sense of the vision God has for me that makes me OK with the loss and more open to God’s choice of friends at this stage in my life. (Just sent out thank you messages to my tribe! 💞)

Losing my grandmother and my first cousin were other more recent experiences of loss that affected me deeply. Losing these two family members really showed me how much God is in control. I have always had a close relationship with my grandmother and still have fond memories. The last couple of years, right before her death, threatened my fond memories as Dementia changed her personality and my desire to be around her. It is very difficult to interact with someone who is completely different than your previous experiences. Since her death, I have definitely had my personal moments to reflect on the good times, to cry, and pray God lets her know in heaven, just how much I appreciated her presence in my life.

The loss of my first cousin was also difficult and is still fresh. She was the oldest of the 5 first (female) cousins, who all have names beginning with the letter “T”. We call ourselves the “5 Ts”. The difficulty in this situation was finding out how deeply she was suffering physically, financially, emotionally, and spiritually…within 24 hours of the funeral. I knew her story and her journey in life were difficult, I just didn’t know the magnitude of her challenges until after her death. It’s heartbreaking to feel as if you could have helped or should have helped sooner, but didn’t! Guilt tries to creep in, but then I have to remind myself, “you can only get in where you are let in!” Dr. TC

The privacy of her life did not allow me or anyone else to have the ability to help but so much. It’s hurtful to watch someone suffer and you can’t do anything about it. Again, this was a loss that showed God’s sovereignty and full control in some of the most painful moments in life.

Ok…so I’m going to end my journey here as I could write for days. I hope my reflections of some of the instrumental moments along my journey inspires you to do the same. I am moved emotionally and spiritually in writing my own truths. Some truths are painful, yet necessary.

Take the journey! Playback your instrumental moments like beautiful elevator music as you move up and down your journey of life. It makes the ride much more pleasant.

Dr. TC

Discover Prompt Day 20

A celebration of Music…🎶

Music is in my soul. I have always loved music. I played the clarinet in middle and high school and was drum major for 2 years of high school. Our band marched in the Macy’s Thanksgiving day parade. I will never forget my first music concert with my big sis, Kid -n- Play! Boys II Men is my absolute FAVORITE boys singing group. I’m still a groupie! I cried when they split up. I teach our son with music. I believe music is healthy for brain development.

Once I became a Christian, I just simply switched genres. I primarily only listen to Christian songs, but from many different genres. I also enjoy jazz, oldies, and a little soulful music as well. Music speaks to me. Music comforts me. Music gives me words when I have no words. Music moves my soul. I dedicate this post to music. I don’t have a lot of words to express my sentiment for music. I simply want to share this next song, along with the lyrics, with you. This song has always been my favorite tribute to music and describes EXACTLY how music has served me and continues to bring balance and a solid foundation to my life. I hear music everywhere all the time. No matter what I’m going through. I can find a song that speaks to my heart. Oblige me…listen to this song and help me celebrate, music.

~ Always In My Head ~

You’re like a cool breeze, on a summer’s day

You are a river running through the desert plain

You are my shelter, from the pouring rain

You were my comfort, even before the pain

I can hear the sound of five drummers in the wind

The leaves blowing in the breeze, ring out like guitars

A tin can rolls across the gravel like a tambourine

I am but a vessel, so I sing, because you are

In my head, you’re always in my head

In my dreams, you’re always in my head

In my pain, you’re always in my head

In my peace, you’re always in my head

A rainbow of rhythm stretches across the sky

An airplane in the distance, plays a beautiful cello line

It’s no coincidence; it’s in tune with the music in my head

If you were a shoulder you’re where I would rest, but I am your vessel so I hear, you

In my head, you’re always in my head

In my fears, you’re always in my head

In my joy, you’re always in my head

In my tears, you’re always in my head

You’re like a cool breeze, on a summer’s day

You are a river, running through a desert plain

You’ve been my shelter, from the pouring rain

You were my comfort, even before the pain: ’cause I hear you

In my head, you’re always in my head

In my dreams, you’re always in my head

In my pain, you’re always in my head

In my peace, you’re always in my head

In my head, you’re always in my head

In my fears, you’re always in my head

In my joy, you’re always in my head

In my tears, you’re always in my head

Thank you God for creating music…

Dr. TC

Discover Prompt Day 19

Do you Know The Rule of Three?

I struggled with this post initially. Why? Because my favorite number is 4. Ha! This is honestly the first thing I thought of when trying to think about what to write about (3). I like nice even, manageable numbers. The number (3) is odd, literally! What do you do with the leftover?

Then I took a small personal journey in (3) steps to increase my understanding:

  1. Remembering
  2. Exploring
  3. Transforming

Step 1-REMEMBERING: I first allowed my mind to remember the first thoughts that came to mind that had anything to do with the number (3). The Three Little Pigs. Goldilocks and the Three Bears. The Three Billy Goats Gruff. (I have a 3 year old! Ha!) The Holy Trinity.

Step 2-EXPLORING: Step 1 was intriguing enough, I started to do some internet research on The Rule of Three. Here are some important statements/quotes I found that caused a visceral and even spiritual reaction in me as I kept exploring.

Three is the…

  • smallest amount of information needed to create a pattern.
  • “The rule of three or power of three is a writing principle that suggests that things that come in threes are funnier, more satisfying, or more effective than other numbers of things. The reader or audience of this form of text is also thereby more likely to remember the information.
  • Threes really resonate with the human brain.

The more I researched, the greater my interest to learn more. On a spiritual level, I felt The Rule of Three was much more significant in my life than what I had ever realized. Another intriguing use of the Rule of Thirds was in photography. I learned dividing images into thirds create a more interesting composition. Definitely will try this one!

After exploring, I realized that I was using the Rule of Three without even realizing it. For instance, in my new Total Wellness by Dr. TC program I focus on the Mind, Body, & Spirit. I aim to help others identify the barriers in their mental & spiritual health in order to improve their physical health. In the first week of the program, I have all participants identify (3) goals they will work on throughout the program. Aha!

Step 3-TRANSFORMING: What did I learn that will forever change me? There is something to the number (3). I had prior knowledge of the intentional use of numbers in the Bible, such as 7 (completion) & 8 (governmental order), yet never took a more in depth look at the number (3). My mind and spirit have been transformed with this new knowledge and the psychological impact of the The Rule of Three. In all things mysterious, in all things marvelous, in all things magnificent, I know the power of God (The Father, The Son, The Holy Spirit) is at work. The most significant, life changing statement I discovered is this: The power of numbers point back that God exists.

Amen, amen, amen…

Dr. TC

Discover Prompt Day 18

The Story Behind My New Program “Total Wellness by Dr. TC”

I became a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist in 2012. Over the past 8 years, I have led countless families to a better understanding of themselves, their relationships, and their world. I have helped people discover their strengths, break generational barriers, and heal from depression, anxiety, trauma, grief & loss. I have had the privilege to help so many start new lifestyle journeys of mental wellness and relational health.

Over the past 8 years, I have also discovered another passion. Supervision. I became an AAMFT Approved supervisor for associate licensed professionals seeking full licensure in 2015. I essentially am a gatekeeper for my profession, helping develop novice therapists, as well as decide who is not a good fit for the profession. I enjoy developing new therapists, assisting them in gaining a better understanding of themselves as well as how they want to serve others through ethical decision making strategies, therapy models & interventions, and person as the therapist. I enjoy building their confidence, helping them overcome their own anxieties, and finding their niche professionally.

Within in the past 8 years, I also married a Bishop of a non-denominational church and became the leader of a ministry. In this role, I have built my faith and ability to serve hurting women from all walks of life and from all over the world. This is where I truly began to tailor my services to women. In this role, I am able to incorporate my therapist and leadership skills to lead a women’s group that truly focuses on developing virtuous women in every area of life.

As a women’s leader, I teamed up with a small group of women within our ministry, and began a modeling/fashion ministry in which we host annual fashion shows celebrating fashion and faith. This ministry is so rewarding, as we accept models with little to no experience, use their faith as strength, build their confidence, and watch their lives change through their experience on the runway. Many of our models have reported a newfound confidence, courage to overcome fear, and increased faith in who they are and how they serve.

Since beginning the model/fashion ministry, in 2019 I had the privilege to check off one of my own bucket list items…become a professional runway model. Through some God connections, I modeled in my first runway show and fell in love with the experience. The experience adds to my credibility as a Model/Fashion Show Director as well as launched me into a second career. Since this first experience, I have modeled in New York Fashion Week, awaiting several upcoming shows (thanks COVID-19) and actively seeking paid modeling jobs. I wholeheartedly know my modeling career is a part of how I have been called to inspire, encourage, and empower women.

JACKSONVILLE, NORTH CAROLINA – NOVEMBER 23: A model walks the runway at the FTM Fashion Week S7 at Sturgeon City on November 23, 2019 in Jacksonville, North Carolina. (Photo by JP Yim/Getty Images for FTM Fashion Week)

So, as God is opening up these doors for me and adding to my services to women, I began to think about how these elements fit together. I realized the majority of my work encouraged women’s spiritual and mental health, and now with modeling, their physical health too! This launched my current tagline #fashionfaithfitness. Physical health has always been important to me since my high school days of track & field. There is a competitive, athlete inside of me that has always created balance in my life. In 2019, after attending a weekly workout class at a church in my local area, I decided to become a group fitness instructor to help continue to lead the women in my ministry to total wellness. That’s it…the birth of Total Wellness by Dr. TC.

Hello! COVID-19. I must acknowledge it’s presence as it helped me find creative ways to continue my ministry to women under the Stay At Home order. The birth of Total Wellness by Dr. TC Online Community happened on 3/1/2020. Through this 8-week program, I am able to combine my expertise in mental wellness, spiritual leadership, and physical health coaching into an 8-week online experience. Series ONE 8-week program ends 4/26/2020. It has been a tremendous success! I can’t speak for myself, but check out my program page and read the testimonies for yourself!

I was literally in tears reading the feedback from the participants in the program I developed, that is just simply a combination of my passions in life! What a blessing! I am now continuing these 8-week program series in the online platform that will allow me to serve women from around the world. Our current cohort of women includes a participant from Kenya, Africa! For a small personal investment, you will gain a wealth of knowledge and experiences that will change your life! I am your facilitator and guide and I have a passion to make you better!

Series ONE 8-week program included the following teaching videos and assignments:

🎇Stages of Change 🎇Cruciferous Vegetables

🎇Mindful Eating 🎇Creative Choices 4 Change

🎇Water LOVERS! 🎇Disordered Eating

and much more!

Series TWO 8-week program will include the following:

🎇S.M.A.R.T. goals 🎇Food Allergies & Intolerances

🎇Organic vs. Non-organic 🎇God Nutrition

and much more!

The next 8-week program begins 5/3/2020! Join the community and reserve your spot TODAY! I plan to keep the online community a small group each 8 weeks, so that I may continue to offer one-one-one personal consulting and online group therapy. I want everyone to feel heard and recognized. Therefore, I also have plans to develop completed 8-week series into online courses you can work though at your own pace! Stay tuned for this added resource. Meanwhile…join the community for $5/week! You are worth $40! Your mind, body, and spirit will thank you!

Dr. TC