Have you ever been given a second chance? Or maybe third or tenth chance for something? I’ve recently accomplished a goal and the concept of chances came up for me. The goal I accomplished wasn’t a new goal, it’s a goal I’ve actually been working on for years. Over the years I’ve hit the goal several times, but somehow found myself right back where I didn’t want to be.
This time…something felt different. My mind shifted in a new way that will not even allow me to go backwards again. I realized the amount of chances I’ve had over the years for the same thing and felt sickened thinking about going down the same road again. I realized this is the moment I’ve been striving for over the years. It’s over. I’m done. I made it and there is no looking back.
My gratitude went through the roof as I realized if not given all those chances over the years, I would never be where I am right now. I realized the Creator of chances deserved my heart of gratitude and words of thankfulness for finding me worthy of chances. Chances allowed me to grow and mature until I was ready for the next phase. Chances didn’t mess up any of my future opportunities, but just allowed more time for me to catch up to the future already planned for me. Whew! Got choked up after writing that one. 🙌🏽
My future is brighter because of chances. I’m more grateful because of chances. I’ve gained more peace and freedom because of chances. I thank God for every chance He has given me to bring me to the future He had already planned. 🙏🏽
What is it about this phrase that kicks me into action? I serve my circle of influence and community with all things health and wellness. From leading a group fitness program, online total wellness support group, to providing skincare education and products as a “clean” beauty consultant with Beautycounter, I have realized that health is truly wealth. There are so many more opportunities afforded to you when you are in good health. Good health is not just what you eat, but also how you live. The mind, body, and spirit are so intertwined that what occurs in one area spills over into the next. The Bible says this about health…
I assume (and hope) most of us have been thinking more about our health in the past year since the pandemic manifested. Good health (in your mind, body, and spirit) is vital to abundant living. Good health is a shield and a ticket. Take heed when you hear the phrase “It’s for your health…” If it’s good for you, it’s worth your time and investment.
What’s in YOU will attract what’s around YOU! Dr. TC
I heard this statement recently in my Beautycounter business meeting I attended earlier this week, and it really STRUCK and STUCK with me. I immediately began to mentally scan the spaces I occupy and the people in those spaces. I will say, after many years of dealing with lost friendships, navigating challenging relationships, etc. I am happy with the circles in which I presently interact. I am surrounded by some really good people with mutual reciprocity.
What’s your vibe? Are you attracting the tribe you desire? Attracting the tribe you desire first begins with becoming the person you want to be. Positive energy attracts positive experiences and relationships; as goes for negative energy attracts negative experiences and relationships.
I would characterize my present tribe like this:
✨Never give upers 😉
When you find the right people to connect with there is great reward in your connection experiences, even if you don’t live in the same city or talk every day. When you do get together, it’s like a breath of fresh air. You just fit…quite comfortably!
What’s your vibe? How would you describe your tribe?
I don’t care how busy I am, when I am busying myself with things I am passionate about, it never seems like work. Dr. TC
I have recently been introduced and re-introduced to things I am passionate about. What I am discovering about passions is that they lead to purpose. Passions are things that you are drawn to and that, in many ways, come natural to you. Passions are often first manifested in your mind and in your spirit as a thought. Have you ever had some goal or dream in your mind that you can’t seem to stop thinking about? Have you ever thought on something so deeply and intensely, you can physically feel yourself having or being in that place? Passions create these imaginative experiences.
So, how does imagination relate to reality?
Scripture tells us in 2 Corinthians 10:5 (KJV), “Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalted itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ…” The same scripture in the Message bible says, “We use our powerful God-tools for smashing warped philosophies, tearing down barriers erected against the truth of God, fitting every loose thought and emotion and impulse into the structure of life shaped by Christ.” In looking at these scriptures, we see that we have power over what we choose to think, our imagination. Additionally, what we choose to think on determines what we become. God desires us to think how He thinks about us. For example, if I can imagine myself a millionaire, I will become one because my thoughts will lead me to my passions, which will lead me to my purpose and destiny. Scripture also tells us, God will not put more on us than we can bare. If I couldn’t bare being a millionaire, then God wouldn’t even give me the thought I could be one! He knows what you can handle. I read something about imagination that was so powerful…Imagination is like a software that programs our behavior, expectations and actions.
I believe this is the season to chase after your passions. This is the season to think as big as you can. This is the season to move in the direction of your imaginations.
What are you passionate about?
Owning your own business?
Being debt free?
Being a stay at home mom?
A certain career?
Being on tv?
Buying a house?
Being a parent?
Owning multiple businesses?
Becoming a partner?
Say hello to your passions. Whatever your passions, be intentional about thinking on those things every day. Your thoughts will pull you into the direction of your passions, giving you the power to become what you imagine to be!
At face value, it may seem impossible to be dissatisfied and grateful at the same time. This is my current state in life and I am learning to use gratefulness as a strategy. Gratefulness is not just a state of mind but an intervention. Gratefulness is also like a medicine that lessens the pain of dissatisfaction in life. Gratefulness gives you the strength to keep being, doing, and pursuing. Philippians 4: 6-7 (AMP) states, “Do not be anxious or worried about anything, but in everything [every circumstance and situation] by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, continue to make your [specific] requests known to God. And the peace of God [that peace which reassures the heart, that peace] which transcends all understanding, [that peace which] stands guard over your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus [is yours].” In this, I believe God desires to shift our focus away from what has not yet happened, what does not make us happy, and what we have not been able to accomplish and instead focus on what God has already done, is doing, and will do when we continue to persevere through the pain. God asks that we lift our dissatisfactions up to Him in earnest prayer and He will give us peace. I recently read a statement by Anthony Iannarino that said, “The trick to being happy and successful is to be grateful and pleased even while you are striving for something more.” In my own life, each moment I focus on the things I am grateful for, the pain of dissatisfaction lessens.
To those living with dissatisfaction, make a list of all the things you DO NOT WANT TO CHANGE about your life. These are the things to focus on and be grateful for as you continue on your journey in life.
The goal is not to finish first, but just finish! Dr. TC
I’ve been feeling a strong pull lately to encourage someone to stay the course. The Holidays are here, and as a therapist and ministry leader I have seen many times through my experience, people revert to old ways of behaving and thinking during the Holidays. In many ways, the true test of genuine change is how well the work you have put in on yourself stands up against the Holiday months.
The Holidays are truly what you make of them. I know the context is different…shorter days, less sunshine, more temptations, more family around, financial pressures, more time at home, no school, etc. All of these things can truly have a negative affect on your emotions, thoughts, and behaviors. I encourage you to stay the course. Stay the course towards the better you. Stay the course, finish what you have started even through the difficulty. Continue to pursue your personal goals regardless of obstacles of criticisms. Stay the course. Be better. Do better. Think better. Become better in every area of your life.
Don’t enter into a new year with old goals. This may be an indication of stagnation, little growth, low motivation, lack of genuine desire for change, anxiety or fear. Be determined to win over every circumstance. I know 2020 has been an interesting year to say the least. I can’t tell you how much I have been affected, but not infected by the circumstances of this year. I intentionally decided to stay the course despite every obstacle. I decided to manage my anxieties and not let my anxieties manage me. I decided to press into God, my source of strength, like never before. I decided to watch Him more than I watch the news for direction, strategies, and the mystery of how He is moving in the midst of turmoil. Our 3-year-old said something so profound last night just before sleep, he said, “I just hear miracles all the time.” My spirit was ignited that this little being has an ear to hear God, and he seems to always deliver a message to me just when I need it to help me stay the course.
To someone out there reading this post, I just hear miracles for you! The miraculous ways of God are always in action. He never slumbers or sleeps. I encourage you to stay the course in these last few months of the year. The year 2020 has been a test of faith, be determined to past the test and expect a great reward!
Kamala Harris is Vice President elect of the United States of America. Barack Obama was the 44th President of the United States of America. Michelle Obama was First Lady of the United States of America. Malia and Sasha were black children of the First Family raised in the White House for 8 years.
This post is not political. It’s powerful. It’s personal. It’s a moment to process what this means to me as a black woman born, raised, and living in the United States of America. I have often imagined living in other countries where it is not uncommon to see Black people thrive and prosper. For example, I think of countries in Africa where it is not uncommon to see Black leaders, Presidents, Kings and Queens. I think about what it must be like to enjoy the prosperity of your labor without feeling guilty, undeserving, or loneliness. I have personally experienced the looks and the unspoken feelings from the majority when they see me driving a similar car or living right next door or carrying the same shopping bag. It’s that feeling that somehow I’m not supposed to have it, simply because of the color of my skin. Education doesn’t matter. Personal preferences don’t matter. Hard work doesn’t matter. As a Black American, these unspoken feelings have constantly made me remind myself that I am worthy of prosperity, abundance, and God’s blessings just like anyone else.
As I watched Kamala Harris give her victory speech and then experienced the image of Rosa Parks, Ruby Bridges, and Kamala Harris displayed above, I did feel hope and pride, but I also felt anxiety. I felt anxiety as I pondered this question: “What is the cost of prosperity as a Black American?” There are disadvantages to prosperity, especially being Black. Because I am a person who is willing to take risks…and not afraid of the unknown, this anxiety does not deter me from pushing myself to prosperity; however, I am honest enough to admit there is some anxiety. In my journey for change, my hope outweighs my anxiety. I know these historical moments for Black Americans is not by chance, but orchestrated by the will of God. For many of us, these moments have raised the bar to what we can be and can accomplish. These moments have added some dreams that we had never even considered. These moments have opened up new possibilities into what we can become. For me, these moments have given greater vision into how I can lead and serve others no matter the color of their skin.
I often wonder why the fight for equality is so arduous? I wonder why equality, something that seems so basic, causes such turmoil? I think I know why. It’s because that is what God desires and the enemy constantly fights against what is just, good, and right for us all. Thank you Ruby, Kamala, Michelle, Barack, Rosa, Malia, Sasha, and countless others for giving me the strength to fight and providing real examples of systemic transformation. I choose to continue the fight for change. I choose to fight with dignity and pride. I choose to continue the fight wholeheartedly with LOVE.
I experienced a spontaneous miscarriage on 6/15/20. I don’t know what I thought this journey would be like. I’ve never been down this road. I think if there wasn’t some kind of desire in me to have a daughter, maybe it would be a little easier. I have continued to process my recent miscarriage, some days unexpectedly. It’s the “life that never was” and the “what if this was my daughter” that is the most painful to accept. A dear friend of mine thought enough of me to mail me a book to aid in my healing process.
This book did it for me. It started the grieving and healing process I probably would have ashamedly dismissed. I am a therapist and this book has become my therapy. One thing that stood out to me early on in the book’s content is its statements on not knowing the real pain of death until it actually takes place inside of you. Yes, any of us can be so full of life on the outside, yet carry death inside of us (sounds like another blog). For some it’s easier to process death that happens externally, but it’s much more disconcerting to process death that happens internally and unexpectedly. The automatic “it must be something wrong with me” looms over every attempt to find peace, understanding, and healing through the trauma.
Trauma. Wow, that’s what I have experienced. I am realizing and accepting I experienced a trauma. My trauma is three-fold; the death of an unborn child, the “potential” of meeting our daughter, and the physical effects of miscarriage itself. I experienced heavy bleeding that led to syncope. I was told I should have received a blood transfusion. I became anemic for weeks after the miscarriage, and I’ve never been anemic at any other time in my life. Additionally, I am also still battling severe acne that occurred as a result of miscarriage. The emotional, physical, and spiritual impacts of miscarriage are never to be ignored or dismissed, but embraced.
I am strong. I am strong because I have accepted my experience and I am willing to do the healing that is needed for my mind, body, and spirit. Through my reading and journaling, I am experiencing God as a true healer and comforter to the broken-hearted. I am understanding God’s pain even the more through my own experience of pain. I have a better understanding into the depths of death. After all, I carried death inside me until it actually left my body. And, I live to tell the story…